Decoding Confidence: Unveiling the Eight Strengths with Lisa Sun

Hello. Welcome to Tuesday's and Morris. Yeah. I'm out of more seats. Excited to be joined by Lisa's son. Lisa is the founder of a women's clothing company called gravitas, as well as an author of the book by the same name. Lisa, thanks for coming on the show today. Thank you so much for having me. I love how we were connected. You just reminded me of how the world is a big and small place at same time. Yeah. I I first learned of your work through one of my sisters who saw you on your book tour. She was raving about what you shared and how much it resonated with her. And I must say I I thought I felt the same. I didn't think I could learn, so much about a book on women's that originally meant to be on them as confidence. Yeah. No. I I really appreciate it, and it means that you're a very good sibling if you take the advice of your sister. So I love that that's how we're connected, and it's been really fun because I would say about a third of the readership are men, non binary. And so I'm really pleased that while the work was written for women in mind, it sort of transcended that and changed a cultural conversation we're having about the topic of confidence. Awesome. Well, I love the word gravitas, and it's a huge, like, piece of, like, the work you do, but, like, the clothing and the speaking side, it draws out so many emotions. You know, you kinda can feel it, but it's not a word that's that commonly used. What experiences did you have that inspired you to cultivate this trait of gravitas and frame it in this way when there's so many words you could have chose? Well, it's it's fun because for folks who are not familiar with the word. I didn't make it up, and now that you've heard it, you're gonna hear it everywhere. People text me all the time saying, say, Oh, my god. He just said the word gravitas on Ted Lasso, or I was reading something in the paper, and they used the word gravitas. Thank you so much for bringing it into my consciousness. When I was twenty two years old and I was a first year analyst in management consulting, my first boss told me I didn't have any gravitas. And when I went and looked it up in a dictionary, it meant dignity, importance, theft of substance. At twenty two, I didn't have any of that. And it really who does? And it really kicked off a twenty four year journey around trying to understand what this word means. And the reason I honed in on it is most of us misunderstand it. And most of us when we've told that we lack confidence or we lack gravitas. First of all, it's anxiety inducing. It's ambiguous. And I really, for my self. I do think you write the book. You most need to read yourself, but I think for myself and for so many others, I really went on a two decade journey of exploring what it truly means to have confidence. And I didn't wanna write just another book about confidence. I really wanted to take this moment to reset what we all think about it. Yeah. Do you think have you have you spoke to that mentor since getting the feedback? Like, like, zoo way zoom out, like, about how much that written feedback has meant to you. She's one of the investors in my company. So We've had that conversation, and she did an interview with the press recently, which she didn't tell me what she said. But I always think of feedback as a gift that your best coaches are your toughest. They're the ones that care enough about you to tell you. If someone doesn't care about you, they won't give you feedback. And so I do think the fact that she cared enough about me, she saw something special in me, and she told me that it did kick off this lifelong passion, something that's formed the basis of my life's work. So, yes, we have lots of text messages. We had a phone conversation before the book came out. She obviously read the book before it came out. But I I have done my best to try to keep all these folks in my life. If you've given me feedback, and this is how we think about our customers. If a customer gives you feedback, it's not because Well, it might be because they're upset, but they want you to do better. They want you to improve. Yeah. One of my past guests, the woman named Kim Scott, who coined a term and a management practice called radical candor, and it boils down to just that it's caring personally and challenging directly. And you need both for a really effective feedback. You all led one of the largest research surveys on confidence This specifically, around women's confidence, what did you learn from, you know, that large survey exercise? Well, I should probably just step back for a moment and say the foundation of the work, and then I'll get into the research study was when someone tells you to be more confident, there's actually this emotional or mental trigger of speak up be assertive, stand on a stage. If you look up the word confident in the dictionary, it has nothing to do with performance, bravado, or swagger. In fact, in non western society, confidence is actually humility hardworking and self effacing. Right? So in our western culture, it has been very much created into a simple construct of speak up, be assertive, be extroverted. If you look up in the dictionary, it has nothing to do with swagger. It is understanding and appreciating your own abilities and trusting in your own abilities. And so the first thing we did is we really said Okay. We've gotta reestablish confidence, not as a behavior, because most of us think of it as a behavior, something I can act or perform, but really it's a mindset it's about seeing yourself and the strengths you bring to the table, and then turning that mindset into a behavior. And so that was the foundational element. What I realized though is when you ask someone as an adult, tell me what your talents and strengths are. Tell me what you're the best out in the world. We're all stumped. And this, I know you probably saw in the first part of the book, is because while we're born fully self confident, you can ask any five year old whether the best out in the world tell you everything. I'm the best at soccer. I'm the best at hugs. But in adolescence, there are these six forces that form the basis of insecurity and our inner critic. So much so that as adults, we're conditioned to see our flaws before we see our talents. And so The reason we did the research study is I realized that when I asked people, okay, you've gotta believe in yourself. What are your talents? They give me this blank look. They either don't know, or they belittle their own talents. They'll say, oh, I'm just really good at getting things done. How boring is that? I'm like, that's amazing. It's because society has conditioned you to not value that as a talent. And so we, along with my former boss at Mackenzie, launched this quantitative survey over five years of confidence. And then we did thirty two focus groups. What I love about doing focus groups during a pandemic is people will tell you all sorts of things in online chat rooms, in Zoom groups just to get away from their family. I think that whole candor that you spoke about, it was heightened. When you're like, wait, for two hours, I get to get separated from my family and talk to you about confidence. Yes, please. But we did this body of work. And what we realize is confidence doesn't just come in the one form of Brevad or swagger. We identified eight types of confidence. Eight strength areas. And most of us have two or three. My mom took our quiz. You can take the quiz at my confidence language dot com. She took She has all eight. She's like, I take your quiz. I'm all eight of these. But but the whole idea is before you can go out and behave differently, you have to know what the inventory of talents you have, and you have to affirm them before anyone else sees them. And so we really created this body of research to get to these eight qualities, really validate them, and then people can then say, you know, this is my confidence language. These are my talents. Why wouldn't I be able to go do this scary thing? Because Lisa's book has told me that to do that scary thing, I need one of these eight. Hey, I've got it. Why am I not why am I not trusting myself? Yeah. I love the way you frame and define confidence in the book. Real confidence is the outward expression of an inward belief, and that belief translates into action. That that absolutely. Otherwise, you're faking it to make it. That that is one of my least favorite phrases ever, which is fake it to make it. Someone in a book reading in DC raised her hand and said, I'm gonna call out your BS, Lisa. I I've known you since you were in your twenties, and you always came across as a very confident person. I don't buy this origin story of you didn't have gravitas. And I looked at her and I said, I was faking it. I was pretending. I was performing to what the company or culture wanted me to be. But I was deeply insecure and highly overachieving. So I beat myself up. I really didn't like myself. And I said if I could get in the Delorian back to the future style, give my twenty two year old self my own book. I really would have enjoyed the ride a lot more. And this person who has known me since my twenty said, Oh, yeah. That tracks. We we were all faking it. And that's why when you talk to people over the age of fifty five, they are the most powerful in our dataset. They're kinda, like, been there, done that, have nothing left to prove. I've been knocked around, and I've always loved thinking about that mindset. And I'm like, wow, why why can't I have that mindset earlier? So I don't think we need to fake it. And I love that that's one that's one of my favorite lines in the book too when I was writing it. I was like, Yes. When I have felt my most powerful, my most self assured, it has always come from a place of strength and not from a place of insecurity. Yeah. I think a lot about, you know, recent conversation I had with a a leading, like, speaker and coach. Who is sharing that exactly it's the exact thing on the outside. It looks very similar, but, his inner experience. There was a lot of dissonance between how he felt and how he was perceived and how he's found a lot more meaningful fulfillment by aligning it and owning those some of those experiences. The other thing I think about is, James Clear in in atomic habits talks about it. Now, you can do all the habits But until they become an identity Correct. The actions won't change. That that's one of my favorite books because I love it when he says you're voting for the person you want to be. So it's not that I'm gonna go to the gym every day at seven AM. It's I want to be a healthy person. And every time I go to the gym at seven AM, I'm voting to become that person. And and that is really what I think the book is most powerful in describing is so many of us have either been told that what we bring to the table isn't what is valued or we can't value ourselves before other people see And so these eight these eight superpowers we've identified, I know we're gonna go into them. They really form the basis of a new vocabulary for affirming yourself and also seeing other people in your life quite differently. Yeah. I think it's amazing. Like, we in this this like, both vocabulary and beliefs. A lot of them, we don't choose our vocabulary, and we didn't choose our beliefs I I see like a reclaiming of ownership over our strengths and what's possible. One of my favorite quotes is in order to make something happen, you have to at least think at first. So how can you, you know, go out to embody gravitas or confidence if if you don't believe it? You mentioned the eight types. You know, there's I think there's a real dissonance between our kind of day to day understanding of confidence and, like, the actual types. You know, what do you think the lack of understanding of confidence types? How does that impact like, the status quo around expectations for women specifically. Yeah. Well, let me share with you the eight types, and then I'll give you from the data set how we see systemic bias play out. So the eight types, the first two are leading, which is I'm in charge I set direction. I'm in command. I inspire followership. The second is performing. It's what you and I are doing here right now, being in the center spotlight. Craving an audience, the exchange of energy between two people, extraversion. Those two are the most written about talked about in terms of confidence in Western Society, they represent less than twenty percent of our dataset. Does that mean eighty percent of us don't deserve to feel good about ourselves or are made to feel bad. If we led and performed all day, nothing would get done. The next two are achieving and knowing, achieving I'm an athlete, performance mindset. I set goals. I meet or exceed them. I get things done. And if I fail, I get up and try again. Practice make perfect. The second, of that side is knowing. I'm the smartest, most well researched, most thoughtful, most process oriented person, I always say you wanna build IKEA Furniture with someone who has knowing. The best example in pop culture is the three black women in the movie hidden figures. How do three black women help send a man into orbit in space? They weren't leading, they weren't performing. They were achieving, and they were knowing. They were the smartest quote unquote computers to do the calculations. The next two are creating which is my top one. Believing, which is I'm optimistic. I see the best in others if things don't work out, they weren't meant to be. And giving. I am empathetic, I'm supportive. The best example of that one is if you're a Ted Lasso fan, Ted Lasso actually says in season one, I am not a traditional command and control coach. Right? I'm not gonna lead from the front. In fact, I've been underestimated my whole life because I'm not here to win or lose. I'm here to help people become the best versions of themselves. And by the third season with the believe poster and all the thinking around that, you realize that his form of optimism is actually his route to self belief. And that would have been undervalued. Like, think about how many people dismissed him over and over again because he didn't fit the prototype of what we expect a male coach to be. And then the last one, which is the hardest, is called self sustaining. I like myself. I don't need to impress you. I know my market value. If things don't work out, I'm willing to walk away. It's the quality, by the way, older people have. It also means that you can deal with criticism You can also ask for a raise and a favor without feeling bad because you can say, here's my market value. If you're not gonna pay it, I'll find someone who will. It's it's the quality you really need, and I actually think the whole book, frankly, isn't exercise and self sustaining or unliking yourself. But together, these eight are a complete picture of what it means to believe in yourself. Where does your talent come from? And when I talk about systemic bias and the role of women and men, when my mom looked at the data set, she was like, oh, Lisa. Thank you. When tsunami happened, men make a speech and women, we clean up the beach. Finally, I get credit for cleaning up the beach. And I laughed when I heard that. And then I read this unbelievable study, which is in chapter two of my book, we quote, Kelly Shoe, a professor at Yale. Where she looked at thirty thousand employee records, and she realized that quarter over quarter women got the highest results on performance and accomplishments, but the lowest results on promotion potential. And men were the reverse. They were very promoteable, but didn't actually get much done. And when she double clicked on promoteability, she said, oh, my gosh. It's extraversion. Carisma, completely subjective characteristic around performing confidence. Right? They have nothing to do with actual results. And so when we did all the focus groups, we realized that women face a triple standard. We have to be confident, competent, and warm. And you take away any one of those. Basically, we have to be all these super powers. You take away any one of these and you're labeled, whereas men just have to come across as confident, not even competent. And so this is where these eight superpowers, we looked at the data. We're like, wow. It explains so much of society's dynamics. Especially on the gender equality and equity front. Yeah. I I I really like, your reference of Ezra clients work around you know, evaluating women against male stereotypes. It doesn't make any sense, but without awareness, we do it all the time. Alright, Adam. Can I give you a gold star? You're the only person who's done a podcast with me who has quoted my Janet Yellow story because that is My that actually was the year I launched my company. And for your listeners, Janet Yellen in twenty thirteen was nominated to be the first woman head of the Federal Reserve. And there were hundreds of articles that she didn't have the gravitas to lead the Fed. And as a client at the Washington Post, basically, called them all out and said it's because the pervasive view of gravitas doesn't stretch to include her. She's soft spoken, she's collaborative, By the way, she's the most qualified for the job. Why isn't that gravitas too? And I love I mean, you are the only podcast host that's ever talk to me about that chapter, that chapter. I love that section. And someday I'll meet Ezra Klein and thank him for inspiring me. Awesome. Yeah. I think he's a great thinker, and I I very much appreciate that all as I continue to integrate my own learnings from my confidence survey. I'll keep that in mind. What were your super powers, Adam? Out of curiosity, what did you take a quiz? I took the quiz and, I I I'm not as I'm not as, balanced as your mother, but I I did score I had six of them. Perfect. Yeah. Thank you. My opportunity funny enough is in performing. Which is I think it speaks more to my motives. Like, I like to, Like, something I've was reflected to me a couple weeks ago, that really moved me. It it actually brought me to tears. I was at an event And, a woman came up to me and goes, it has been so amazing to watch you see the world. And for me, a lot of my, like, I think my superpowers lie in deriving meaning. And it was so moving for somebody else. Like, I my mind was blown. I was like, this inward experience that is so meaningful for me that other people can see it can. Yeah. Completely blew my mind. Well, I was gonna say, Adam, so I love when people take the quiz because there's actually a couple of reactions I get. One is, oh my gosh, do I really have five or six? I'm like, yes, you do. Like, quiz is statistically valid. So maybe you haven't seen all of them. Right? Maybe you've been underestimating or under leveraging yourself. But I love what you then did, which, you know, chapter six of my book, which is The things that I want in life, am I equipped to handle them? Do I have the superpowers I need? And I'm guessing you probably have creating. Did you have creating in your super power set? Because what we yeah. So what we find that is maybe you're not performing in the classic sense of, like, extroversion, charisma, put me on a stage with a with a lav mic. Right? But creating what we find with people who are creating is they're great storytellers. They are incredibly comfortable with audiences, especially when they're supporting an idea or a cause. And so the impulse for why you do what you do is not because you're gonna be the next Dale Carnegie. Right? It's because you truly believe in an idea or a movement, and you wanna amplify it. And so that's why you tell stories. That's why you, you know, put yourself in front of a camera or in front of a micro phone. And so what I love about our superpower quiz is you're willing. You don't ever have to be performing Adam. That's my point. It's like, it's not opportunity. It's only if you wanted to be a stand up comic or wanted to be a professional toast giver at weddings. Right? So you can walk away from that and say, Dale Carnegie, thank you so much. I don't need to read your book. That's not something that's in my journey. Because I know I can advocate for myself and my ideas because creating is the source of my strength. And I think that's really where we're redefining it. Is so many of us are told to go to a public speaking class or told to go get this kind of training. And I'm sort of like, well, do you really need it? Like, what are you trying to do in your life? And are other superpowers gonna get you there? But, no, if you wanna be a stand up comic, you definitely need need to go take some classes on performing. Right? Yeah. I love that the language allows for that. Yeah. I laugh when you said you're not gonna be the next Dale Carnegie because one of my previous guest was named the Dale Carnegie for the Digital Age. So I think that's seats taken, but, One thing he said that I thought was really interesting, a guy named Andrew Horn, he was saying, and it really speaks to confidence One of his things is, when somebody is speaking from the heart, you cannot look away. So to your point, it's not really about being a great performer. It's it's a it's a bit of a word that's becoming a little cliche, but it's about authenticity. Yes. And and and I what I really like, when people have taken the quiz and shown me their results, automatically jump to their opportunities. I'm like, let's not look at the opportunities. Like, the opportunities are only valid if there's something you wanna stretch yourself in, and you can hire people for that. Like, I only have four and a half of our land four and a half of the super cars. I when I took the quiz five years ago, I had three. And there were two that I really wanted to build out, so I've actually been actively working on it. But the ones I don't have, my team has. In fact, we have opposite confidence languages. So I don't have to be all things. I don't have to be my mom, although I do believe my mom could do everything. And for me, it was taking control of, hey, this is why I didn't do well in management consulting because the superpowers needed to thrive there are not the ones that I have naturally. And I love that people really can gravitate towards their strengths and their superpowers and say, wow. This might be why I've been misunderstood. Or, hey, You know what? The culture that I'm in is a very high, you know, in terms of our supercar language, a lot of people are performing. They like to talk. And I took the quiz and I'm high in achieving and knowing. That means I get things done and I'm the smartest person in the room. This could be explains why I've been told to be more confident it's because they're all talking all the time, and I'm the introvert in the room. And so that realization, I think, changes the dimensions by which we have a conversation. I always tell extroverts. If you got introverts on your team, they are the smartest, most thoughtful, most introspect Well, you're gabbing. They're getting things done. And so, you know, you've really gotta balance your own views of what confidence means. Against what's gonna get the work done. Awesome. Well, I I really I really enjoyed, you know, the book and the survey, and I think there's so much men can learn from this because I think men struggle from a single definition of confidence as well. Yes. About if you go on Amazon, you look the reviews, there's about ten reviews from men, and they go in a couple different directions. One, which is a former boss of mine. So I he did read the book, but he's like, I think that every man that coaches women should read this book because we've got an incomplete way in which we've been women to live up to a certain standard. So I love the idea of, like, we've gotta expand and change the scorecard by which we measure success. And then other men have said, you know what? I love that you wrote it from a female point of view, but men struggled with it too. I'm an introvert, and I've been told my entire career that I didn't measure So thank you for giving me the language to go back now. So so when someone tells you to be more confident, I always say which of these eight? Do you want me to be more self sustaining and not spiral what I'm criticized? Do you need me to be more vocal and performing an assertive? Do you need me to be more leading? Like, what are you asking me to do? And that changes the way in which we describe it. I I'm gonna leave you with one little fun thing. Look at the countries that have female presidents or female prime ministers. They tend to be countries that value the attributes that we highlight in the book. So think about it, Scandinavia, Iceland, Germany, India. Like, if you look at countries, they are ones that inherently value getting the work done, not just talking about it. Yeah. And when I have a good friend who's, his wife's in Norwegian, and he's, like, in Norway, no one wants to be, like, a standout, like, one upper. So I think that's fascinating. I look forward to looking forward looking to invest further. It's a short list. It's a very short list. We've talked a lot about confidence. We haven't talked a lot about close. Could you share a little bit about what you're doing on the closing side and and how you think closing confidence fit together? Yeah. So when I started the company, really, when when I was told you didn't have gravitas, my boss told me to buy new clothes, which is fairly offensive, but her point was Dumbo does not need a feather to fly, but it reminded him that he could. So clothes can remind you of your power. When we launched the company in twenty teen, it was really with a mission to catalyze confidence. It wasn't about clothing specifically. It was really about this mission of can. We help people remind themselves of how powerful they are. And so when we launched, first of all, size inclusive, so zero to twenty six w, I've been various sizes. I've been a twenty two, an eighteen, a twelve, a six and so I know the struggle we all go through about not being able to find the size or the fit we want, innovative. So for a lot of your female listeners, we make a jumpsuit that you can go to the bathroom in without getting undressed. That's a big deal, Adam. Just so you know, no woman wants to put on a jumpsuit because you have to get pretty much semi nude, to to go to the bathroom. And we've been around for a decade and really just small nimble. We produce in New York City and in China. During the pandemic, we made hospital gowns and face masks because no one was buying workwear. But I love the clothing. Not just because I think we make incredible product that makes people feel their best, but I love being in dressing rooms with women because dressing rooms are an analogy for every female's insecurity. Right? Every woman comes in a dressing room with all six forces that we identified that are your inner critic I'm going to lose ten pounds. I hate my arms. I hate my thighs. You know, so I use dressing rooms as a way to help women see the best in themselves. I don't act actually allow them to look at clothes until they've told me what they're the best at in the world, what their best friend would tell me about them, what are they most proud of in the last year So I think of the clothing as almost a Trojan horse for a little bit of self love, self affirmation that is genuine, and then you get a piece of clothing that reminds you of that experience. Awesome. Is that the confidence closet? Yes. That's the confidence closet. Yeah. Which is exhausting. It's exhausting. I just did an event with, like, five hundred mortgage bankers. So every thirty minutes, you're dressing two to three women. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. I I've a couple things stand out to me when I think about the connection of confidence in clothes. One is Guy Ritchie. Guy Ritchie is always in a suit. He says it's his suit of armor, and it's an orientation for him to go to work. And do the things he has to do. The other one is, a woman named, Eve Eager, who's a Holocaust survivor and, an author of the book called The Choice. I just remember she was talking about in her, like, post camp recovery. Like, the women just wanted to put on makeup to feel a sense of dignity. Well, I you know, and I I think this is where clothing or accessories have such power. I think you go back all the way to school. Right? When you wherever you went to school, putting on that t shirt with your mascot, it was a sense of identity, but a sense of belonging. And I think that translates into clothing hacks that we wear, things like that. What are you trying to say about you to the outside world, but also what's your sense of belonging. And so we chose clothing as the way to launch the company I think the mission has become much bigger because of the last decade of learnings, and the book kind of creates this next ten year chapter for what we're going to do. Awesome. Lisa, you talked about your mother a couple of times. What lessons did you learn from her? If he sounds like an absolutely tremendous woman. She's put she will tell you she's pretty cool too. You know, the the funny thing is, and she's in almost every chapter of the book. I think I need someone asked me that the other day, and I said I need to go count, how many times, mama's son makes a cameo. The the couple of things is my mom's an immigrant, from Taiwan. By the way, Taiwan has a woman president and and she's retired in their hometown, and they have a woman, Mayor, too. So, you know, lots of lots of lots of lots of connections here. But one of the things that I love is every time I've had a good thing or a bad thing in my life happen, I'm often reminded that it's happened to her in some form as well. And so she's this font of wisdom. Oh, yeah. You can't make payroll as an entrepreneur. That's happened to me so many times. Let me tell you what what you should be feeling. If even if I can't tell you what to do and I can't help you, let me just tell you that you're not alone. And I think that's the first thing is just knowing that you're not alone on the journey. Being an entrepreneur or an author, it's a very lonely experience. Right? You you there are things you can share with your team, and there are things that you can't. Because it's not their life's work. It's your life's work on display. The second thing is I really love when someone has an unabashed belief in you. And I really see her as an ambassador for this life living with total living with total self assurance. One thing that she taught me and is in the book Gravitas and confidence is not a state of being. I think that's where we've been mislaid. That's why people think of it as a behavior. It's an approach to living life with self assurance. Things don't get easier. We get stronger. And what I always say, your inner critic never goes away for good. So you've gotta learn how to cope with it and manage it and supersede it with your superpowers every single day. And that's my mom's voice in my head. She's not my inner critic. A lot of people are like, oh, your inner critic voice, who is? And I'm like, it's it's Fred, my high school bully. I think I've outed Fred a lot on these bots. Cast in interviews. But it's really my mother's voice that I hear when I think about my superpowers and my confidence language It's her total belief in my abilities, and that's the second thing she's done for me. Beautiful. Would you mind if I if I read a poem? When I was reading your book, I couldn't help but think of this poem. It's it might make me cry. It's about It's about a mother right, like, speaking to her daughter on the day of her funeral, and it's all about clothes and stuff. Would you mind? Good, Adam. I might tear up too. I'm I'm an easy crocheter. Just, when I was thinking about and, like, this make this really gets to me, and I'm a guy, but, like, I have sisters. I'm I'm a mom who's bullet hard. So this is, This is from a mother to her girls. It's a by a woman named rabbi Karen Cadaire out of Chicago. That's how it should go. The morning you wake wake to bury me, you'll wonder what to wear. The sun may be shining or maybe it will rain. It may be winter or not, you'll say to yourself black. Aren't you supposed to wear black? Then you'll remember all the times we went together to buy clothes the prom, homecoming, just another pair of jeans, another sweater, another pair of shoes, you'll remember how I love to dress you, how beautiful you were in my eyes. The morning you wake to bury me, you will look in the mirror in disbelief. You'll reach for some makeup or not, and you won't believe that this is the morning you bury your mother. But it is. And as you gaze into that mirror, you shut it here or not. But look, look, close, close carefully. For hiding in that expression, you will find mine. You will see me in your eyes and the way you laugh, and you will feel me when you think of god and of love and struggle. Look into the mirror and you'll see me in a look or in the way you hold your mouth or stand a little bent or maybe straight, but you will see me. So let me tell you one last time what to wear. Put on any old thing, black or red, skirt, or pants, despite what I told you all these years, it doesn't really matter. Because as I've told you all these years, you're beautiful the way you are, dress yourself in honoring dignity, dress yourself in confidence and self love, wear a sense of obligation to do for this world for you are one of the lucky ones, and there's so much to do and fix. Take care of each other. Take care of your heart and your soul. Talk to god where humility and compassion when you wake to bury me, put on a strong sense of self, courage, and understanding. I am sorry. Forgive me, I am sorry. Stand at my grave in a gown of forgiveness dressed like an angel would be showing your compassion and unconditional love. For at that very moment, all that will be left to me to give is love. Hey. Well, Adam, thanks so much for the tearful finish to this thing because, Wow. You're gonna send that. You're gonna email me that one? Yeah. I will. But, yeah, I just couldn't, like, when I read your story and read about the confidence, faza and your mother. I just, I, wanted to lean into a confidence language of showing up and sharing off enterprise. So I appreciate that. Well, thank you. Thank you for your Ally shift. Thank you for the Ally shift. For sure. What's the best way for people to keep up with you, Lisa, and the work you're doing at gravitas? So we are at at lisa l son at gravitas, New York, everyone should go to my confidence language dot com and take the quiz. It's free. It's have your family members take it. And I'm on LinkedIn as well, and I respond to almost every LinkedIn message personally. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show, Lisa, and for what you're doing, helping people reclaim their superpowers. Now promise me you're gonna text your sister right after we log off. And say that was awesome. Yeah. Much. Thank you for making my life better as always. I hope you give her a little confidence boost today because I'm happy she connected us. Me too, Lisa. Thanks again. Thank you for listening to Tuesday as Morsi. That episode was with Lisa Son. Lisa is the founder of a women's a clothing company called gravitas, as well as the author of a book by the same name gravitas, the age strengths that redefine confidence. What I love about Lisa's work is that the knowledge of the confidence languages can help us bring more of our own strength and talents to the world while giving us the space to recognize and appreciate other and talents, even if they look different from our own. If you like the episode, please like, follow and share on where we listen to podcasts. We'll see you soon.